Rain, Rain Go away!!!

So we have been experiencing ALOT of rain. My car was powerwashed yesterday (good so all that bird shit will be washed off) bad because our plans to go to the beach was ruined today!
So now the BBQ will just have to come to us....for now at least!

My week in review

My accounting week was so hard! I was excited going in but I'm not gonna lie, I was super happy to see friday evening come. I just wanted to get out of there and go home. It was a really, really hard week for me. But deep down in my heart I know that it will get better and be ok in the end.

Today just wasnt a good day. I sat in indigo thinking about my day and I couldnt help but wonder a few things when I opened up a book called Men and Womens Secrets. In it was a collection of annonymous confessions from men and women across the US and Canada. It was interesting and at the same time I can only imagine liberating for those people to confess those things and get them off their chest. A part of me wished I could do the same too.

I think I'm going to go to bed and relax. Its going ot feel good not having to work tommarow. I worked last saturday and people dont understand sometimes how much of a toll it takes on you after working 11 hour days 5 days a week. It might only be 3 hours every other saturday but add that on to the 55 you just did that week and it gets really draining!

Not to mention I'm eating healthier so no more junk food for me it hasnt exactly been the best week for me!

Off to bed I go. Talk to you later lovelies!

Its Mine and you can't have it!

The devil always tries to find a way to taint your happiness and steal your joy because he likes seeing you down.

I was feeling soooooooooo good inside this past week. Even when things on the outside made me mad or didnt sit right with me deep down inside I was still feeling my joy and happiness then this weekend happened and challenged my grip on both.

There's a situation that happened a few weeks back and after my bf urged me to talk to this person everything was laid out on the table. Well some of the stuff laid out didnt sit right with me afterwards and I told myself I'm not going to let it steal my joy. It hasnt stolen it but it has made it hard to feel it. I dont think thats fair to me. I'm not going to beat myself up the way I usually do and say, "I should just not let it bother me", because I'm human, its a weird situation and it would bother anyone else. I sat and thought about it and I've decided to take a new approach. I'm gonna pray about it. Now I pray alot but I get discouraged about things especially if I dont see any progress. That doesnt mean things arent changing and moving in the right direction. When I say right it might not be what my heart desires but it is the direction that God wants and in the end works out better than you would have wanted anyway. When you pray about something is essentially what happens.

Letting go and letting God is hard because I like to know whats happening. But God isnt going to come down and say, "This is what my next move is and this is how its going to turn out". So I'm going to pray about that too and continue to move forward. Let God to take care of that situation. Honestly thats all that I can do. I cant make anyone like me and I cant change the way someone feels. So since I cant change anyone else I will work on the one person I can change...and thats myself and how I respond to situations and people.

^^^^My joy!

This blog entry is not meant to be my declaration of instant healing. I am cofident that this too will pass and there will come a day in the very near future that it wont bother me. This blog entry is meant to be a declaration of another step forward; a step toward freedom and retained happiness! I'm determined to do it but this time not on my own. I'm going to try this new approach and I know the results will be better then I will ever expect.

Good night everyone :)

5 things to be happy for!!

I just viewed a youtube channel by Intro2the1 and she asked the viewers to list 5 things they are happy for in life. I started thinking about my day how it started out peaceful, got frustrating then ended on a good note.

So I thought about what my list would look like and decided on these 5 things.

1. Being alive and healthy-it could be so much worse if I weren't

2. My boyfriend talking to me about not letting words get to me so much. In the end they are just words-I really think I needed to hear that

3. my family (as dysfunctional as they can be) and my boyfriend- I love them both very dearly

4. Feeling happy inside despite outside things-deep down I am holding onto my joy

5. my promotion-I am excited and nervous all at the same time.

These are the top 5 things I am happy for right now. The list might vary but there are things on there that will remain the same.

Tonight I visited my bf's aunt and her new baby in the hospital. He arrived 1:19pm today! I dont think I have seen her and her fiance so happy. He was glowing and so was she and their son is so beautiful. I think I can say I have witnessed how having a child can transform someone into blissful happiness; they were that happy. When her fiance looked at his son his face transformed into love. Hard to really explain it but I saw it. People who have children have told me that they are blessings planned or not and when they arrive you cant imagine what it was like before them. I would like to experience that some day. I'm not running to have my own right now but I want to experience it too

Till we speak again. Love you all.!

Night :)

A beautiful Island amidst the fog of envy!

My cell phone is stressing me. But thats not how I wanted to start this post. I really wanted to mention how more and more the envy is coming out in the people around me. How sad eh? It seems that people cant understand why I would want to move up and away from this section of the business. Maybe its not meant for them to understand, perhaps they should tell themselves that the next time they want to ask me dumb questions like why did I apply for it.

I feel like I am counting down the days till I can finally say goodbye. Now I'm not leaving with the expectation that I will be arriving in the land of milk and honey. I am realistic about that too. But I am also wanting to leave because simply this side of the business is not for me. Either way its not my problem. I'm not going to let that worry me. Like yesterday I am going to put it behind me and move forward because its a new day and tommarow will be an even newer day then today. So much possibility, so much hope.

SO this is the phone I want to get!

My provider is Telus and they FINALLY have a phone that is comparable to the Blackberry Bold. This beauty is called the Blackbery Tour! Its what you get if a Blackberry Curve and Blackberry Bold had a baby. Its a world phone and GSM capable with a added bonus of being HSPA capable aswell. AND!!! It comes with a SIM card. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! Telus you have heard the people and responded! Its about damn time!!

The nice thing about this phone is its bigger then the curve and heavier but smaller then the Bold. The Bold has wiFi but the Tour doesnt. Sucks but you know what, I wouldnt have used it anyway so no use crying over something that wouldnt benefit me.

Telus offers it on a 3-year for $229.99 regular $600; the same thing they are offering everyone else on a new activation. I have been with them for about 10 years so I'd like a better discount then that. Thats my ego talking but still after everything they have put me through I think I deserve something for being willing to stick it out with them for another 3 (if I have to sign a damn 3 year contract anyway!). I'm going to call rogers then go visit a telus store and actually touch the phone and see what it feels like for myself.

Hopefully all goes well and I can finally throw thisBlackberry Pearl in the garbage and get a phone that:

*rings

*I can turn the volume up or down if I need to

*vibrates

*keeps phone calls in memory

*doesnt randomly erase numbers out my phone book

*doesnt freeze 7 times a day-LITERALLY !!

*tells me theres a missed call and actually displays the call for me to see who I missed

*sigh*

So to end this post on a good note I'd like to finish my thoughts with this

I am happy for my blessings. I'm going to use up the rest of my gift cards and go buy a few shirts at the mall tommaorw so I can start out my work week fresh and polished. After all I have a refined and sophisticated image to maintain LOL. I was told that by a girl who works at another branch. LOL I'm excited. I havent bought clothes for work in so long. Hell, saturday was the 1st time I shopped for lesiure clothes for myself in ages. $5 tops-cant go wrong with that LOL

Night everyone!

I think I can start to smile now...Its official!

Its official! I am an accountant level 1 and now the rest of the company knows it too!!

The announcement went out this afternoon and my inbox was flooded with congratulations from co-workers and upper management. It was really nice. But with the good cames the bad. I had to go to another location and some of the people there were not as happy for my promotion. I knew it was coming. So I take the good with the bad and keep it moving onwards.

I'm happy for my promotion and I am looking forward to a change of pace.

Have a good night everyone!

Deep, deep down inside. I am happy! I just gotta stop worrying

I had a decent day today. It started out well then somewhere before 6 turned into me yelling into my phone at my co worker who had made a very rude comment to me. He's one of those people who cant take pressure and snaps at everyone. So when he did it to me I was not having it. I pulled out my cell in traffic, police officer near by (its "illegal" to talk and drive here) and let him have it. He ended up apologizing to me afterwards. His apology was sincere so I gave him daps and we are cool now. I am not one to like holding grudges but when I got back into the office I wanted to ignore him till 6 then go home.

I miss my friend. I really do. Even though I have made new friends I miss the old. So I pray because at this point I dont know what direction to go from here about this. I think this is one to let go and let God take care of so I am. I pray and ask God to work the situation out and also to grant me peace of mind and heart regarding this matter. I am confident (yes I am!) that it will work out. Till then no use worrying, and increasing my stress for no reason.

I love my bf. I really do alot and I know he reads this so I want him to know that even though we may disagree, argue, get on each others nerves that I recognize that every relationship takes effort and work. It wont always be rosey but even when we face challenges and tests in the end it makes us stronger!

Always and Forever...

Me and you :)