Sorry everyone for being gone for so long!! I've been going through alot in these past few months with work and my supervisor. I finally learned that I had to stand up to him and tell him that his behaviour towards me is unacceptable and it had to stop and it had to change. He was what I called a passive bully. If he percieved you to be weak he would nit pick, talk down to and manipulate your results to make you feel disempowered, helpless and disillusioned. I think standing up to him was the best decision I could have made and I am so glad I did it. He has done a complete 180 and I in turn have learned a lesson that I should not sit back silently and let anyone bully me no matter what their position is. People need to know boundaries and we teach people how to treat us by what we allow them to say nd do. He knows his boundaries with me.
Silence is not the best policy.
In terms of my relationship with my bf everything is going well. We dont notice the dirty looks from anyone anymore. I personally dont care because at the end of the day I am doing whats best for me. In terms of my mother I dont know how it happened but somewhere down the line I stopped caring what her opinion was (or still is) of my bf. I'm not going to let her views and feelings get in the way of who I want to be with. She is not God and as long as I put my trust and my future in his hand and pray to him then I will be alright.
Its funny, Ive prayed alot in these past few months about different things and one of those things that has come out of that is a desire to change my life and my environment. Its very lear to me that my environment is not making me happy. I need a new job, I need a new career and I need a new space to live in while I do these life changing things. Its a small step but for me its a big one in that I have started with where I live. Unfortunatly due to the receission and this economy I had to move back home. I did that right before I lost my job and everything came crashing down and it must have been devine intervention ebcause literally a few weeks after I felt a strong desir to come back home (bc deep down it felt like something bad was going to happen) I lost my job. SO here I sit in my childhood room (its pretty big which is a good thing) and just hating it. I decided that while I change these other aspects of my life- speaking up more, making a career change etc I should change the homespace I come home to every day. I decided to get rid of my old out dated l-shaped desk that is taking up alot of space in my room. I decided to purge my closet and draws of old colothes and things I dont wear anymore but was holding onto because someone had given them to me and I didnt want to seem ungrateful (screw that!), I decided to get rid of furniture, drapes, carpet, electronics....honestly by thte time I am done this room is going to look incredibly different. And I am so excited about it. It makes me happy. These changes are making me happy and I am going to continue to do them to continue to make myself happy!
I think thats my theme right now. My happiness-1 step at a time!
