The Dirty Looks Game

I cant tell you how many dirty looks and whispers I have recieved from angry black men when I am out with my bf. Sometimes I ignore it, other times I look away and wonder why, yet other times I choose not to notice it at all.

The last time this happened I had an especially dirty look was from a young black man who walked closely past my boyfriend and I in Indigo. I saw him enter the store, lock eyes on me then make a beeline our way. I didnt pay attention to him after that because I didnt think he would do what he did next. In any case we were walking towards the cash register and this YBM had plently of room for him to walk around the other book displays but he chose to walk through the displays my bf and I were walking through. I was holding my bf's hand smiling (because I finally got my french vocabulary builder tapes that I had wanted for months) when I looked up and was met with a dirty accusatory stare from this YBM as if he was asking me with his eyes what the hell I thought I was doing. I looked away quickly and looked down. This guy had to be about 6'3 and I am only 5'8.5 and it was intimidating as hell as he literally stared down into me. In my head I began thinking my relationship is not my problem its his so I'm not going to let him phase me. When I looked up again half a second later I saw YBM look up to his left then look away sharply. I turned to follow where he was looking and realized it was my bf who was now looking at him sharply.

My bf is about 6'2, 6'3 when he stands up straight and he is a big guy. Not fat but he looks like he could throw you pretty far if he wanted to. F can give some really intimidating looks sometimes even when he doesnt realize it but when you get him angry then those looks begin to take on a more sinister appearance and I think this is what made that YBM look away so quickly and pick up the pace. It bothered me a bit. When the YBM walked off my bf leans down and goes, "I took care of that one for you baby. Dont worry I got you". I looked up at him, smiled then gave him a kiss and said thanks. But deep down inside I couldnt help but wonder if said YBM was staring us down from the other side of the store like a wounded dog seething with anger.

I follow a blog called Interracial Love and Spice by Sara. She is american and talks about the struggles Black Women (BW) go through dating interracially. She focuses specifically on BW and WM (white men) relationships. Alot of what she posts is VERY true but some of it I read and take for what it is (of course taking it seriously) either because I have not experienced or witnessed it or its something that is more american of an american thing than Canadian. Thats why I created this blog to talk about some of the isses I face as a BW in a relationship with an IM (Indian Man). Either way check her blog out. She blogs once a week and I must say I stalk her blog relentlessly because she has dished out so much support for us BW who just want to be loved and adored like the beautiful and treasured women we are. I love her blog and I think you will too. Heres the link

http://interracialloveandspicebysara.blogspot.com/


Another experience was with a older black jamaican man who took it upon himself to stare me down very dirty in a jamaican take out restaurant. You shoulda seen him too. He looked at me like I was garbage and I had no right to bring my Indian or "coolie" boyfriend into the restaurant. I stared at him back before I decided he wasnt worth it. I held my bf's hand and walked out smiling right in his face. He can kiss all of my ass. As if I would give him the time of day if I wasnt with my bf. Things like this I find so unneccesary. Why do that? What will it accomplish?? I especially love the BM who will stare me down while holding the hand of their WW, IW, AW or SW and look at me dirty. Its like are you serious?? You are looking at me dirty like I have no right to be with my IM but your with your woman and shes not black. I think Sara is right. BM have a problem seeing BW with non-BM and feel like its their right to let you know their disapproval. SMH. Get over yourself!


The Church!

I love God and want to do the right thing but I think that has made me vulnerble to some people in the church who have 'no good' intentions. I have decided to keep my relationship private and out the ears of these church people. Its hard enough to be in an interracial relationship with out having judgmental, biased, church members with alterior motives try to place doubt in your head. I dont even want to talk about it too much because its going to make me upset but needless to say my bf doesnt attend my church anymore and I dont blame him one bit.

Why are church members so damn judgmental? You would think they would be the first to not judge at all. But I guess not.

Till next time, Love you all

Kisses ;)