That "Coolie" Boy and "My Nygga"

"Coolie"

I have often heard this term thrown around by black caribbean people throughout my life and I wonder how indian people feel about it. Where did it come from? Did they find it offensive? How did it make them feel? It wasnt till around 3rd grade that I learned that the term was racist and was coined by the British as a derogatory term for Indians; this i when I realized that this word she not be in my vocabulary. You see I hate the word nigger. Its derogatory, offensive, oppresive and rude. I dont want anyone to call me that name so in my young mind I didnt see how I could feel that way about that word and still use another derogatory word against another race of people.

So I grew up resenting the n-word (as it will be referred for ther est of this blog and entry). I didnt care if my own people used that word and justified it by saying they were taking a name used to oppress my people and empowering, to me it was still just that...oppressive. The truth of those words would come out if a white person said it. All of a sudden the black person using it would get very offended (often enough to fight said white person) and what would they use to justifiy their rage?? You guessed it, all the reasons why I dont use it. Hypocritical?? I would say so. Either its offensive or empowering. Pick one but dont toggle the lines of its meaning to suit your conveniences then get offended when someone of another race says it.

I have quite a few gay friends who will openly call themselves derogatory terms like fag or dyke and I have seen when others call them such they jump up and quickly point out that they are and ask you what you want to do about it. Its amazed me and I have asked them why and they tell me, "I am using the word to empower myself. I'm not going to let it oppress me anymore". Now I'm not saying this is true for ALL my gay friends just some of my friends because this was their personal choice to use it to empower and remain consistent in doing it. The result often times would be that the offending person would not know what to say to counter it and would often (not always) just walk away. So in essence in those rare circumstances it has worked for them. But I am not here to discuss gay derogatory terms at length. I just want to say that I find them offensive aswell and have decided not to ever use them either. Even if my friends use them in joke or in seriousness when speaking of themselves.


"My Nygga"

I recently went to my boyfriends grandmothers house where they had a memorial for his late grandfather. His sister left quickly afterwards because her mother had come back from visting her the states and she wanted to go home and meet her (It was supposed to be a surprise return earlier then we were told but his sister had figured it out). In her rush she left her cell phone behind and it kept ringing. Her uncle picked it up looked at the display, frowned and goes, "Whose ma nygga?". I was shocked. Everyone paused as if we all were thinking at the same time, "did he just say what I think he did?" before they began to laugh uncomfrtably while glancing over at me. One of the things I hate about myself (which is few) is the fact that when I am shocked by something I'll laugh or chuckle. Its a defence mechanisim and I cant help it. I wish I could becuae it gives the wrong impression but its something I have been doing since I was a child. People who know me well know the difference and often understand what it means -I'm uncomfortable. But they dont know as yet.

I glanced over and her uncle laughed even more when he realized what it was and goes who would name someone that. I looked away and when I did I saw his aunt whose pregnant look at me uncomfortably. I knew from previous discussions that she thought it was inappropriate that but like me she kinda giggled and said nothing. After a while she goes "guys!" but I dont think they heard her. Eventually they let it go till his sister came back and they found out she had named her dad that when he calls. And this is where it all gets interesting.
My bf's dad is not Indian. Therefore my bf is not full indian but he looks it. You cant tell he is mixed with black portugues and spanish. But he is. The only inkling would be his hair which is loose curly. When her dad foudn out he was like Oh really and laughed it off but he didnt you could see in his eyes that he was questioning why she would name him that in her phone.

I know with his family race doesnt matter. When they met me his mom and dad told me they dont care what colour I am. His dad told me he has brothers who are darker then me and are not mixed but full black. I understood. Deep down I dont think they (his grandmother and family) meant anything by it but I do think they were being insensitive by repeating it over and over and laughing. I've decided not to say anything and just let it go...or try to. For now, only you guys know...