lately I have been feeling really down and not so much myself. I think I use this place as my therapy because everytime I post I feel better in some weird way. I had a few things bothering me (still kinda do sometimes) that I posted about. I'm working through them. I believe they are fixable but I also realized I am really hard on myself. I expect myself to bounce back quickly and not care. I wonder why I cant just brush things off and not let my emotions show. But the more I try the more they flow through and I dont know how to stop it.
I feel like deep down I lack confidence. I used to be so confident but thats lmost eradicated away. I feel tired of fighting, tired of struggling tired of always having to fight for what I have and sometimes the thought to give up crosses my mind. I look at everyone else (which is my 1st mistake) and percieve them as having eveything together when in reality I know deep down that they dont. I dont feel confident in the way I look. I dont feel pretty alot of the times. Its just not me.
What does Almond want??
I want to be happy from within
I want to be worry free
I want to smile and be pelasent alot instead of cynical and tired
I want to feel positive thoughts and believe I can do anything o matter what the circumstances are in front of me.
I want to feel like I have so much opportunity ahead instead of looking behind me at whats already passed away.
So I pray and ask God to help me...
Our father, who art in heaven
Monday, June 22, 2009
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